he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
