Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
