to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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