After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
