The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
