oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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