just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
