do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
