Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Sext me about skeletons
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
