Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
