I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
