i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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