It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
