At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
