My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize