my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
