is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Randomize
