Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
