You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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