Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
