who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
