Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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