Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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