if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
