I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
