DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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