Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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