I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
