I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
A bitchslap is in order.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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