I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
we're making bets on your personal life
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
