Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Can Purell be used as lube?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize