dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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