I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize