NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
