Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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