You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
