OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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