so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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