You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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