We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
