have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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