There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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