dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
