College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm passing your future prison.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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