walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
time to smoke my breakfast
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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