Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
