Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
time to smoke my breakfast
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
