OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
