After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
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You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
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He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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