You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
