My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
