Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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