this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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