when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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