he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
