are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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