Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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