I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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