they need to just BURY HIM!
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
