All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
