ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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