so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
