yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
