Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize