Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
